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In spite of the short week I had, seems like forever the week had past. It was all worthwhile spending time with baybee and the dogs. Kino book shopping, a little clothes shopping, doggie shopping absolutely making up for the quality time loss ever since we got Scribbles and Razzel. A shocking news just heard yesterday of the passing of my ex Literature tuition teacher. Yes, no kidding. I begged my mum for a Lit and English tutor cause I did enjoy having Lit as one of my subjects in KC. Back to the news, a petite lady with an excellent knowledge. She fell and accidentally injured her head. The next moment, in coma... then gone. Shocked and sadden by the news, I never knew it was so serious when I learnt she was in hospital. I'm in a state of perplexity to decide if I should attend the wake at their place. I have to admit, I've lost my courage to look into a coffin or to attend a wake of someone who influenced my life one way or another. I have fears, fears of memories of my grandma. I'm still mourning deep within me despite she has gone for almost two years now. I can never forget the sight of her lying on that bed, in that coffin, in that outfit, everything still comes back once a while. Hymns brings memories, photos bring heartache, visiting her and looking at her niche brings tears up to this every day. I know I should accept the fact that she's happier with God, but sometimes I feel her, when I'm cooking, when I'm reading, when I'm crying or even saying my prayers at night. I feel a comfort around me, a sense of security, a voice that goes through my head, that familiar voice that says: "When you don't know what to do or you need help, always say one our father and one hail mary. Mother mary would always help you." Never a day I would forget those words from my beloved loved one. I miss her. I said my prayers for this ex tutor of mine, and I hope she rest in peace. Life's short in everyday. A simple fall, a run or even an accident may end a life of one within seconds, minutes, day or hours. Looking through 'the driven purpose life', I asked myself once again: 'What on earth am I here for?' I found faith and trust in god, and each time I fall hard on my knees, I pray for the strength to look around and be glad what I have in life. In this life, we came for a purpose, but what purpose does it make when one is unhappy with life? A friend of mine is going through a tough time with her life, in her lowest depth of her depression, not one could comfort her the right way. It brought me back to the times in NP, where I fell into my lowest form during my 3rd year. I'm thankful for good friends that believed in me, trusted me and pulled me back into believing myself again. I lost many good things in life, I lost people I once loved deeply. Someone once said: "Of the many things you blamed yourself for imperfections of love. It was their loss not loving you the way you are, accepting you and being happy with you." I understood the meaning of loving, and being loved in return, the meaning of a true sorry from a broken relationship rather than a sorry for the sake of it. Many break down and cry from relationships caught within, losing or not having the ones they loved most. I was once a victim, bitten twice. But what matter most was that I grew stronger in my emotional depths of my heart and I moved on. I moved on to a higher step of love, a more matured way of handing love rather than the past. Viewing and feeling the words of 'I love you' and 'Sorry' is so much different now. I'm glad things took a change, I have someone who loves me for me, and accpeting me for who I am and what I am. Thanks baybee... you really make me happy! For those who failed in love, lost love and haven't found the right love, I can never have the answer when you will. But, who knows whether the right one is actually the one next to you now. It's a wonder. Fow myself, I cherish time within my life, never know when I'll might be gone.
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+*In Perfect SiLence*+
+*interest*!+
+*In another Merryland*!+
+*HeLLo STrAngER*!+
+*New piX uploaDED*!+
+*BoreD?*+
Click on START first, and wait till the background color changes. Once it changes, hit STOP! The addiction starts here..
+*Weren't they just memories?*!+
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